The Best Christmas Gift

Every year around Christmas time, my parents ask me to make a Christmas list. When I was younger, I had no problem writing out an elaborate list of toys and gadgets, but as I’ve gotten older, the list has gotten smaller and more difficult to make. This year was different. The only gift I really wanted for Christmas this year was something that no amount of money could buy. I knew that if I was to only get this one thing, my heart would be so full. 

The past three years have felt like a whirl wind. Since graduating high school, I’ve moved three times, played college softball, joined a sorority, started working in the pharmacy, and continued to lead in youth ministry. In the past three years I have also had surgery to repair a torn labrum, bicep tendon, and partially torn rotator cuff in my right shoulder and consequently had to hang up my cleats, completely changed my major twice causing me to be slightly behind, stepped away from my sorority after learning a very difficult but important lesson, grieved the passing of a couple people very near to my heart, and experienced a few other hills and valleys that have come along the way. (I could write for hours about each individually, but I’ll save that for another day.) I found my self in a constant state of anxiety and unrest.  As the end of this past semester approached, I was busy finishing up some of the hardest classes I have ever taken, and I started to realize that I was rushing through life and stressing so much that I had been missing many beautiful and precious things that God has placed right in front of me. 

The only thing I really wanted for Christmas this year was to slow down and enjoy my family. In the middle of the chaos called “working college student”, I wanted to be able to have time that was not rushed without any pressing deadlines to meet, just unbothered  time with the people I love. 

    Side note: I realize that when reading the line, “In the middle of the chaos called “working college student”...” some of you may have laughed or thought to yourself “if she thinks that’s chaos...” Yes, life will only get busier in the years to come. But in this season of life, it feels chaotic. Learning to balance school, work, and church has not been the easiest task for me. 

One thing I haven’t mentioned yet is the Philippines trip. You see, I was supposed to be leaving for the Philippines on January 7, 2019. LaGrange College gave me an incredible opportunity to travel abroad during JanTerm or MayMester, and I chose the Philippines on a whim last March. Through prayer and discussion with my family, I felt like God was not calling me to go. At the beginning of December, I finally reached a final decision. I felt a weight lifted from my shoulders when I made the decision to stay home. Not only do I get a long break from school, but I have been presented with many other unique opportunities right here at home. 

This Christmas I got to relax and enjoy all of my family, and I get to continue that into the month of January. 

So I urge you, take time to slow down. Enjoy where you’re at, with the people around you, and take it all in. Life doesn’t slow down, but you can. 

I sincerely hope and pray that you and your family had a very Merry Christmas, and that 2019 brings much joy and many blessings to you. 

Ashawnty Davis, A Short Story With A Huge Purpose

As I was scrolling through my newsfeed today, I saw several quirky and upbeat posts about finals week and the Christmas season. Then as I continued to scroll down my feed, I almost scrolled past a headline that read, “A 10-Year-Old Girl Hanged Herself After “Bully” Video Was Posted On Social Media”. The young age and the words “hanged herself” obviously caught my eye, so I opened the article. In all honesty, I was skeptical of the legitimacy of the article and the credibility of the source as I began to read the story. However, the pictures of the beautiful and so precious little girl that were included in the article made the reality of this terrible tragedy set in. I felt my heart quickly shatter into a million pieces as I processed the tragic story of Ashawnty Davis, just a child who had so much life ahead of her. There are so many things I could say about this terrible story and the sad reality behind it. Instead of dissecting and analyzing each event in chronological order, I just want to discuss a couple things that are heavy on my heart. 

After seeing that post I googled “Ashawnty Davis” and there are several articles written about this same story published by other news sources. Every article concludes with the same heartbreaking ending- a girl taking her own life at a very young age. Without young age as a factor, suicide is already an extremely sad tragedy and delicate subject. In some cases, factors that contribute to an individuals decision to commit suicide are out of anyone else’s control because those factors may be unknown to anyone besides the individual. In Ashawnty’s case, however, one very obvious factor that led up to her decision to take her own life was undoubtedly controllable and preventable by others- bullying. At any age, any kind of negativity towards an individual is harmful to different extents, and people are constantly being negative towards one another. Because of this, the term “bullying” has gradually lost its significance. However, in today’s society, bullying is a real and ongoing problem especially among children and adolescents in schools. When associated with the tragedy of suicide, the significance of the term “bullying” begins to resurface. Individuals who are bullied are almost ten times more likely to commit suicide. For little Ashawnty, she was a victim of both bullying at school by her peers, and cyber bullying on social media after her peers posted the confrontational video between Ashawnty and her accused bully. Just a couple weeks after the video was posted, Ashawnty’s parents found her almost lifeless little body hanging in a closet at their homes. Two weeks later, on November 29th, Ashawnty passed away in the hospital. The clear cause of her death is suicide, but I can’t help but believe that a child that young could not possibly understand the concept of suicide or even begin to know how to deal with feelings such as the ones Ashawnty experienced leading up to her death. At the age of ten, a child lacks an abundance of knowledge but knows just enough to act impulsively without understanding the possible consequences. There are several reasons the issue of bullying needs to be given more attention, but the most important reason is to prevent the tragedy that ended Ashawnty’s life. I don’t think people realize the power of their words and actions towards others until something of this magnitude occurs, and by that point, nothing can be done to reverse or change the damage. 

I personally think the parents of Ashawnty Davis have every right to say the school could have done more to intervene. In my opinion, a tragedy like the death of a student as a result of bullying makes it very clear that the school could have gone to much greater lengths to intervene and prevent such tragedies. Children should be continuously encouraged to treat people with kindness, and their behaviors and interactions with each other should be carefully monitored. I feel like even though schools claim to have some type of anti-bullying program, efforts can always be improved and increased. With the constant progression of technology and social media, children are now able to access the internet at a young age, which presents an abundance of dangers. The internet opens up a whole new dimension for bullying through cyber bullying. Because of the accessibility of internet to children, I think all social media platforms should be blocked on grade-school’s WiFi networks, and the usage of smart phones should be prohibited during school hours. 

As for the role of parents and family members in bullying prevention, I think the foundational principles on which parents raise their kids should be based on good moral conduct and respect for others. Furthermore, I think parents should make an effort to to be so involved in the child’s life that the child feels comfortable talking about issues and emotions. I personally do not think children under the age of at least thirteen should be given any access to smartphones or social media. Even at thirteen, I think parents should carefully monitor the child’s social media, search history, and message history so that parental intervention can take place if needed. 

All that to be said, no person should ever be bullied to the point of ending their own life. A majority of society lacks sensitivity, respect, and consideration for others mainly because the human race is very self-centered. However, even the slightest increase in efforts to prevent bullying and promote kindness can make a difference. 

Little Ashawnty Davis’ life might have been short, but it was definitely not one without purpose. Her story will be used to raise awareness and ultimately save lives. I pasted a link to the story below. 

https://www.google.com/amp/s/amp.cnn.com/cnn/2017/12/02/health/girl-bullying-suicide-trnd/index.html

Dear High School Seniors...

Dear high school seniors,
Congratulations! You've made it! It seems like just yesterday you were a freshman, time has gone by so fast! Enjoy these last moments of your high school career- you will miss them later. Make the most of your time left with your classmates because soon you will all be going separate ways. You've come to the end of a journey that probably seemed to have taken forever. However, this is only the beginning. Before long, graduation will have passed, the celebrations will be over, and you will be packing up your room for college. The reality of moving away from home and out of your parents' care will begin to set in. If you're anything like I was, the day you move in will be a tough one. You'll be overwhelmed with a mix of emotions. Your parents will probably cry, and your siblings will be excited to use your room. You will be nervous, sad, anxious, and excited all at the same time. Meeting your roommate can be awkward, I mean, you are about to live with someone you barely know. When you're all moved in, your parents will leave and you will be on your own for the first time. After a few days, you will begin to taste an unfamiliar freedom. Your parents won't be there to give you a curfew or to say no anymore. You make your own rules! That seems awesome right? Yes, the new- found independence is quite refreshing, but be cautious. Like the saying, "With great power comes great responsibility", you now have the power to make your own decisions, so be responsible. Before long, all kinds of temptations will be thrown at you. You will give in- we all do. Don't ever forget where you came from, and never lose touch with your morals. Learn from your mistakes. Once you give in the first time, giving in will become easier. But like I said, do not lose yourself in temporary things. College will bring so many new opportunities. Step out of your comfort zone and join organizations, apply for student government, and get involved with the student body. Ladies, if your school has Greek life, rush! I came to college with no interest in joining a sorority, but everyone encouraged me to rush. Rush week was definitely out of my comfort zone, but by the end I was glad I did it. And to everyone's surprise, I am in a sorority! You will meet so many new people and soon you will have made a circle of friends. I strongly advise making friends with people who have similar goals and morals as you. Find a church group and get plugged in. Go out with friends and have fun, but try your best to maintain a balanced and healthy lifestyle. Prioritizing your time will be difficult. As a student athlete, I have been learning how to balance school, softball, work, church, Kappa Delta, and time with friends, and sleep has to fit in somewhere. In college, it is so easy to be lazy with school work. Your parents won't be there to make you go to class or stay in to do your homework. Go to class and get your school work done first. Making good grades is so much more important that sleeping in or staying out with friends. Don't forget to talk to your parents, they will always be missing you. Family time is still important. I forgot to mention that you will most likely have no extra money, but when you do have it, spend it wisely. These next four years of your life are for learning more about yourself and finding your calling. Have fun and make the most of every moment. Learn to appreciate the small things. But most importantly, please don't ever forget where you came from.

God's Way, Not My Way

Remember who you are and whose you are. When you accepted Jesus into your heart, you're identity became that of Christ. In Galatians 1:10 Paul wrote, "Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ." Identity and approval go hand in hand because it is where you seek for approval that your identity will lie. The sinful nature of humans causes us to have a natural inclination to desire approval from other humans. The problem with approval from men is that all humans possess the same sinful nature. As we seek approval from people around us, we often become consumed with meeting their standards and living up to high expectations. Other times, we alter our decisions and lifestyle to avoid disappointing people. Seeking the approval of men not only constrains us to a lifestyle of limited opportunities, but it also affects our identity. Living such a lifestyle causes us to miss what God has for us, because we become so fixed on our desires and upholding the approval of men. We forget that God has a plan already laid out for us with our best interest in mind. Often, it is hard to trust him and follow his plan because we are scared of losing something because of our human nature. We become so lost in satisfying others or meeting human expectations and standards, that we've put God's plan on the back burner because we think our plan is better. Think of a little girl with a small teddy bear, and she's standing in front of God asking her to give it up. She cries because she loves her teddy bear and doesn't want to lose it, but she doesn't see the giant beautiful teddy bear that God is holding behind his back. Whatever happens, we must trust God. Jeremiah 29:11 says "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." God doesn't break his promises. Life may be difficult and confusing, but God's got a reason and plan. Even when the future seems cloudy and unknown, God has an incredible purpose for where you are now, and where you will be in the future. Also, something I've learned is that without pain there would be no healing, without hardship there would be no triumph, and without sin there would be no grace and mercy. Without the flaws of human nature, God's sovereign character would mean nothing. He wouldn't have reason to demonstrate his love. God is by no means in the business of perfection. He is in the business of restoring what's been broken, and we are all broken. He makes beauty out of ashes. Think about New Testament Saul, the man who was well known for persecuting Christians. For a great part of his life, he dedicated himself to killing Christians, then one day, God made himself known to Saul, and brought Saul to his weakest by taking away his eye sight. God then told Saul what he needed to do if he wanted his eyesight back. Saul, completely blind, follows God's instructions, and God restores his eyesight. From that day on, Saul was known as Paul, one of the most influential preachers of the Gospel, one of most, if not the most well known apostles in the Bible, and a walking example of Christ's redeeming love and grace. God took a murderous & hard hearted Saul, and transformed him into a God- fearing servant of the Lord. God is constantly working in you and through you. Trust him, and trust his plan. 

I wrote this post two months ago after I returned from my fourth mission trip in Honduras. I never got around to posting it because I was "waiting on the right time". In all honesty, I forgot I even had it saved in my drafts! But here I am, two months later, and I run across this saved in my notes. I began reading what I had already written, and gradually I remembered the circumstances behind the post. As I was reading those words that I had written two months ago, it became clear to me why I had not posted it yet. God had me run across the draft I had forgotten about for two months on this day for a specific reason. When I originally wrote this post, the purpose I had in mind was for other people to read it and be encouraged. However, those words written above, are not just for other people, but for me as well. God knew that I would need to hear that message at this specific time in my life. I am going to share with you what God has been teaching me, and how he used the very words I wrote two months ago to grab my attention. 

Without disclosing all the details, I want to share what God has been doing in a specific area life for the past several months. It wasn't until yesterday that I saw clearly what God has been preparing me for. Many of my friends and family know that I have never been fond of change. I think that devil uses anxiety cloud my thoughts with worry and irrational fears of losing people, disappointing people, and failure to adjust to change. Once I get comfortable with a certain lifestyle, habit, or person, it is extremely difficult to be open to any type of change. Well in the past two days, the Lord has revealed to me that by holding onto a certain once- desired lifestyle, I have missed a number of opportunities, overlooked other joys of life, and built up walls in relationships simply so I don't disappoint. As I read the draft from two months ago, I heard God telling me to give it up and hand it over to him. I immediately had a peace come over me, and I knew that by giving up that plan I created for myself, there will be so much more room for what God wants for me. After months of battling with my anxiety and fear of disappointing people, yesterday I was finally honest with myself and God. In return, he has relieved me from the stress and burdens that I've been carrying alone for so long. By giving up my plan, things will change, adjustments will be made, but I am able to rest in the fact that God has incredible opportunities in store for me. I can be myself again without feeling compelled to hide behind what I made myself to be for so long. While I am not completely certain of my next step, I am certain that the plan God has for me is beautiful and better than any plan I could create on my own. Like Saul, I am walking into the next phase of life blind with the Lord's guidance. I am hopeful and excited for what's ahead of me, and I am beyond grateful for the joy and peace God has given me in this decision to lay down my plan and give him control. In conclusion, I hope this encouraged someone to reevaluate who they seek approval from, where their identity lies, and whether or not they are trusting God's plan rather than their own. 

Christmas This Year

“so that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and please him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God, being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience, and giving joyful thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of his holy people in the kingdom of light. For he has rescued us from the dominion of darkness and brought us into the kingdom of the Son he loves, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins.”
‭‭//Colossians‬ ‭1:10-14‬//
___________________________________

"That you may"
This verse says it all- we have been rescued out of the depths of darkness, saved & transformed by the blood of the Lord Jesus Christ, [so that we may] live in a way that reflects Jesus' love and points souls toward salvation.

      Another year, another Christmas, and the choice is ours again- Will we remember the real meaning of Christmas? Every year around this time life seems to get a little bit more stressful whether it's from scrambling to get Christmas shopping done, planning trips to see family, or studying for final exams 12 days before Christmas... (That's me). It seems like the older we get, the more life gets in the way of enjoying family and friends and celebrating our Savior's birth. Satan tries to keep us distracted long enough to over look the things that really matter, and unfortunately, a lot of the time, we let him win.
      Personally, I find myself wishing Christmas could be like it was when I was younger, mostly because life was much simpler then. Now, the Christmas season seems to come and go before I even get a chance to enjoy it. The stress of trying pass finals, buying gifts, and trying to find time to relax and enjoy spending time with friends and family becomes almost overwhelming. But then, factor in the distractions and anxiety that Satan throws at us, and Christmas is pushed to the back of our minds making this season just another one of going through the motions.

     However, I don't want to spend this Christmas mindlessly enduring the stress and forgetting to reflect on the true meaning of Christmas. I want to celebrate the the birth of Jesus, the one who saved me from darkness and gives me life, forgives me over and over again when I sin against him, and the one who continuously picks me up and cleans me up when I fall. Without Him, I would be nothing, have nothing, and this world would be without hope. Christmas should be a time to express gratitude to our Savior for all he blesses us with, to spend time with friends and family, and to share love with others. I realized today that Christmas Day is less than two weeks away, and I up until today I fallen into the same habit of going through the motions. But also today, I took some time to reflect on this past year, and my perspective has been realigned to where it should be. I almost feel like I need to make a list of all the journeys God has taken me on, all the blessings he has given me, and all of the incredible things he has done. Even as I am typing this post, I can feel gratitude and excitement flooding my heart. This time last year I was missing a very close friend and feeling broken for them, a family member was in a very dark place which hurt our entire family's hearts, and I was still praying relentlessly as I worried about someone very close to my heart that was so lost. Friends, let me tell you about how amazing my Jesus is! This year, not only do I get to spend Christmas with both of those friends and that family member, but I am also able to celebrate how Jesus has worked in each of their hearts, healed so much brokenness, and is continuing to do incredible things in each situation! I have so much joy in my heart and I pray that it will overflow into my actions and words over the rest of this Christmas season. My goal this Christmas is that I show my gratitude for Jesus' love and to express my love to my friends and family. I hope you will join me in making this Christmas different, and showing Christ's love to everyone around you!

Life Today as a Follower of Christ

Lately, or should I say over the past several months, I've been learning the truth about humanity and the world. I've gotten older, I've been given more freedom, and I've had to make some decisions own my own, so naturally, I have been more immersed into reality and less confined by the "Christian bubble".  I am extremely grateful for my Christian upbringing, and I know that the Christian school environment, Sunday school gatherings, and sheltered social life has protected from many harmful things in life. But now that I am a teenager, and life really leaves no other choice, I have become exposed to lifestyles and trends outside Christianity. At first, it was scary, and I thought it was all terrible. I was so comfortable and content with my sheltered Christian life. My child- like faith had been so dependent on the rules and morals that my parents instilled in me. But the inevitable, or what I believe to be unavoidable, soon happened. I started to become curious about the way my friends outside of Landmark and Church were living, and then I became fascinated. Before long, I had let down my guard and began to dabble in ways outside of my Christian foundation. That was just the beginning of learning the world for me. Most people know my testimony and that I personally invited Jesus to live in me and guide my heart a couple years ago. I knew when I made that commitment that accepting Jesus doesn't make me excusable or an exception to sin and the evil in the world. It set me apart, but it didn't remove me from the world completely. Since dedicating my life to Christ, I have lived by the verse in the Bible in which God calls us to live in the world but not to be of the world. Also, since making that decision, Satan has tried even harder than before to destroy me. This year especially, I have consciously put myself in situations that are messy, unstable, and potentially dangerous. I recognize that I can't fulfill my purpose as a follower of Christ if I purposely avoid life outside of Church and school. Because of what my mom would call my tendency to gravitate towards messy situations and brokenness- temptation, sin, destruction, and brokenness have been all around me. Though I continue to seek guidance from the Lord and wise council, my feet have slipped from time to time. Sometimes my judgement gets fogged with what the world says is ok and mixes in with what the Bible and my faith says is good. I can't pretend that I always make the right choices or that I am not tempted, and because I want people to see Jesus in me, I believe people also need to see my imperfections. Over the past year or two, I have made wrong choices, I have used poor judgement, I have temporarily forgotten who I was, and I have experienced brokenness within myself, and I recognize the wrong in all of it. I claim my mess and I own it, but I have given it all to God, who forgives and makes me new. It is so hard to live in this world as a seventeen year old, especially as a seventeen year old follower of Christ. Sometimes I feel like the entire world is against me and is trying to make me fall. But again, I proclaim, and I will continue to proclaim, that Christ is victorious in and over EVERYTHING. Even in the most trivial times, the darkest moments, and seemingly hopeless circumstances, the Lord overcomes. I know I have written similar posts to this before, but God's love never seizes to amaze me! There is nothing greater than Christ's affection for us, and his heart for his children. When he sees us slip and fall, he is always the first one there to pick us up. He is our healer, our comforter, our protector, and our giver of life, and without him, we are weak. Apart from Jesus, there is no permanent cure for depression, no sincere joy or peace, no total healing for brokenness, and ultimately no eternal life. God is good, and I am so thankful for his grace. I pray for the people in my life that have yet to grab hold of Christ's promises, and I pray that they may see a glimpse of his goodness through me. I pray for the Christians in this world, that we may not lose sight of truth and hope. His hope is everlasting and unfailing and we can rest in the peace of his promises. 

Jesus As The Standard

Self worth or identity in Christ? Obviously, from a secular view, those are two completely different concepts. However, for those of us who have chosen salvation, self worth and identity in Christ go hand in hand. Self worth can be defined as how you view yourself. Whether it be outward or inward, everyone feels a certain way about themselves. Girls are especially critical of their bodies, personalities, and lifestyle. The world has created an image of "perfect" beauty, shape, and lifestyle, and it has been branded on every young female's mind. Naturally, the young girl who only wants everyone to think she's beautiful or "hot" is going to obsess over striving to meet the world's standards of beauty. They begin to degrade themselves to try to impress and fit the world's definition. A lot of times, girls find themselves in a state of depression because they aren't able to attain the world's approval of appearance and lifestyle. Their expectations have been set too high on the wrong scale and a cycle of low self esteem has begun. However, Christian girls have been given a completely different definition of "perfection". Psalm 139:14 "I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well." God created each person uniquely in his own image. The God of the universe took time to mold each individual to perfection in his eyes. When God's children are not content with the body he created, it burdens him. Not only were humans created beautifully inside and out in His eyes, but also are given a totally new identity after redemption. God's redeeming love offers a new start to life and also a new mold to define oneself.                      2 Corinthians 5:17 "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come." Beauty is re-defined in the hearts of God's beloved. Instead of seeking beauty of body, shape, and lifestyle-as defined by the world, Christians have been called to define beauty according to God's Word. God desires for his children to be confident in the body he created, and then to strive to live like Jesus. Inward beauty is more valuable, but how could we, dirty sinners, be beautiful on the inside? Well, because Jesus has covered up the dirty with his blood, so now when God looks at us, he sees his son.  The only human that any person should ever compare themselves to is Jesus Christ. Why? Because he lived in flesh and overcame evil. He gave his life for anyone who chooses to accept his gift. Those who chose to receive Christ have his spirit dwelling in them. Basically, we have given up our own identity in flesh to an identity defined by Jesus who dwells in us. Galatians 3:27 "For as many of you were baptized into Christ have put on Christ." So instead of defining your self worth by what the world says, find your worth in Jesus. You will find that to Him you are worth him giving up his own life. Strive to live according to God's truth, and let that be the only standard to which you compare. Women, clothe yourselves in the truth found in Proverbs 31, and men, strengthen your hearts to be the leader you were called to be. Put on the armor of God and practice the fruits of the Spirit, and the image of worldly "perfection" will soon fade. 

Hold Fast

Psalm 139:7-12 "Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast. If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me,” even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you." No child of God will ever be able to flee His presence or escape the bounds of His abundant grace and mercy. In the darkest moments, God still has His light shining. Go back to Psalm 138, and in verse 8 it says, "The Lord will fulfill his purpose for me; your love O Lord, endures forever- do not abandon the works of your hands." God's children are the works of His hands. He will not ever abandon His children. In Matthew 18, Jesus tells the Parable of the Lost Sheep. In verse 14 Jesus says, "In the same way your Father in heaven is not willing that any of these little ones be lost." Once in God's hands, His child cannot get out of His reach. This is one of God's promises. God's Word and promises give us hope. Sometimes though, we lose sight of that hope, but again God promises in Hebrews 6:19 "We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure." For the Children who are living in God's light and walking the narrow path, it burdens us to see our brothers and sisters stray from the path and step into darkness. However, we must not forget that they will never be too far out of reach for the Lord. We struggle to see a hopeful future, but that's where our faith comes in. Hebrews 11:1 "Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see." Friend, please cling tightly to this promise of hope that our Father has given us. Cling to His love, grace, and mercy. Trust His timing. In Ecclesiastes 3:11 it says, "He has made everything beautiful in its time.." He is working to make something beautiful out of these ashes. Hold on tightly, it's not easy, but it's worth it. Wait on the Lord, trust His faithfulness. Hold fast, God's help is on the way. He never fails. 

Trust

John 6:5 & 6 is one of my favorite verses. "Jesus looked up then, and seeing that a vast multitude was coming toward Him, He said to Philip, Where are we to buy bread, so that all these people may eat? But He said this to prove (test) him, for He well knew what He was about to do." It blows me away. Jesus was testing Philip to see if he trusted in Jesus' power. As the story goes on, Philip starts to panic a little as he tried to come up with a plan. But all along Jesus had the perfect plan. Wait, did you get that? All along, Jesus had the perfect plan! Don't you see, we are like Philip, we only partly trust in the power of God and the Holy Spirit. Because if we did completely trust Him, we would never find ourselves panicking for a plan. God places us in difficult circumstances, trials, or hardships with a purpose in mind, but we fail to see it. Most of the time, when we aren't sure what our next move should be, or don't have a plan, we panic and stress. We tend to look in all the wrong places for an answer that can only be found in Christ. Jesus has everything under control at all times. From the beginning of time, God has known everything that will ever be, and it is all according to His plan. In John 5, Jesus feeds 5,000 people with only a few pieces of bread and a couple fish... He can handle your situation. Trust His power and love and be confident in His plan. It may be unknown to you right now, but trust me, whatever it is, it is perfect. 

Let's Face It.

Here's to the lost, hurting, and broken Christians. Heres to the people I'm burdened for. 

Let's face it. Nobody wants to believe they have problems. No one wants to admit they mess up. No one wants to change. Nobody wants help. Even though they know the consequences of their lifestyle and choices, they can't accept the need for change in order to live a life pleasing to the Lord filled with joy and peace. Somehow they become content with where they are. I mean they say they are Christians, but do their actions back up their claims? I'm not pointing fingers, I'm not near perfect. But I know my faults and I turn to the Lord for help and guidance. I see brokenness, and I am burdened. 

Often times, Christians take Christ's grace for granted. They think that since they've been "saved" that they have been granted a free ticket to live however they please. They get this idea that since they've prayed the prayer, that they can use grace and forgiveness as an excuse to live in constant sin instead of turning from it. It's not like that! You see, God's Word is like an all you need to know guide to Christianity, and spending time reading it is crucial to faith. Read it, and you will see how God feels about sin. They say they've accepted Christ but they push Him aside or place Him in a box and only get Him out when they desperately need something. They forget why they are here. They forget that line "by grace I have been saved". BY GOD'S ABUNDANT GRACE we have been given life on this earth, and while we are, we are given a choice: Life or Death. It's that simple. LIFE- accept God's grace and live  according to His plan and live in a way that brings glory to God. DEATH- believe satan's lies. Live like the world, please yourself. Those are the choices! Only two. Many people have "chosen life" but are not living like they have done so. They've become halfway Christians that live in mediocrity. Such a lifestyle does not please the Lord, so much so that He makes it clear several times in the Bible. (A few: 1 John 3:9, Romans 12:2, in Matthew 18:8 & 9 He commands us to rid ourselves of any sin or wrong doing, and Hebrews 12:13-14, and the one that speaks most clearly about leading a mediocre life is found in Revelation 3:15-16.) God is extremely clear about how Christians are called to live a Holy life completely sold out to Him. And the thing is, God promises so many rewards and blessings for His faithful servants. Not to mention He provides rest, peace, and joy. They are too caught up in the moment. That moment then becomes a way of life. Whether it be sex, drugs, alcohol, partying, and so on. Yes, all these things feel so good in the moment, but it only lasts for a short while, so then they do it again. And again and again until they HAVE to have it or else they will be miserable. But they HAVE to break the cycle if they truly want abundant life with Christ, and who doesn't? It's not impossible to stop and change. It's hard- but the other side is so much better and fulfilling. How are they missing this? I mean yes, I've been there. Fortunately, for me, I didn't dabble in too terrible things. However, I sought refuge, peace, and pleasure in the wrong places, namely, self harm, but that was before I found Jesus. When I found Jesus, I was covered in grace and mercy and love and I was fulfilled so much that I didn't need those things to find an escape or to be happy. So now I have a personal relationship with Jesus, and yes, I have done things that do not honor God. Yeah, I've let my desires over come me a few times. I've crossed lines that I can't uncross. But I've recognized my mistakes and I've been forgiven and I make a continual effort to turn from the things that tempt me. It's a constant battle, but God doesn't expect me to be perfect. He only asks that I rely on Him and repent from these things and try not to make the mistake again. I wish everyone could understand this, because their lives will be so much better. Again, I'm not saying I am perfect. In fact, I'm writing this to myself. I only used the pronoun 'they' because I was originally writing to 'the lost, hurting, and broken Christians'. Really I should go back and change it to 'we', so let's face it, WE all have brokenness.

A Letter of Thanks

I began writing this a few weeks back, not certain whether I would post it or not. It began as a letter to a handful of people in response to some things God has been teaching me. I wanted to express my gratitude for the influence each individual has had in my life. I've sort of become complacent by taking my blessings for granted. I'm living in the light of the love of my Heavenly Father, but I have forgotten how and why I've gotten here. I didn't find freedom on my own. There were several people that pointed me to the Lord. So, in a spirit of gratefulness, on this Thanksgiving Day, I am going to share this letter with all of you. 

To those who have sacrificed their time to pour into me: 

        I would like to share with you how yourself and others have impacted my life and pointed me towards Christ. To do so, I am going to define the basis of my faith, and I will describe to the best of my ability how incredible my God is. From the day of Adam and Eve's treacherous fall in the Garden of Eden, the human race has naturally inherited a sinful nature. Consequently, without divine intervention by Christ, we would be eternally separated from our Creator. However, I refuse to find contentment in being irrevocably doomed to an eternity without Christ because of the mistakes of my ancestors. I have chosen to be different and set apart. I am no longer dead in sin, instead, I have chosen life in Christ! I have been plucked from my sinful ways by the hand of an almighty God! Now, I am perfect in the eyes of the Lord because I have been washed by the blood of my perfect savior. As a child of God, I have been set apart from the world; I am no longer defined by sin in the past, present, or future. My strongest desires are no longer of the world, but of the Lord. I desire to seek His face daily, to live in a manor pleasing to Him, and to further His kingdom. The Lord constantly pours His blessings on me, and the least I can do is to come to Him with thanksgiving. So that is what I am doing now, showing thankfulness to those he has blessed me with. As most of you understand, while I am still living on this earth, I am not an exception to sin. I am a teenage girl living in a dark world which is unceasingly trying to pull me down into its darkness. There are many things being thrown at me, and I realize that my responses will influence my future. Being a Christian teenager in today's society is like trying to drive a car in a storm. I've chosen the road I want to take and I know my destination, but then life gets in the way. The rain pours down and hinders my vision, making it difficult to see the road. Satan tries to  prevent me from progressing forward in my journey by throwing distractions in front of me. There is no need for me to name the distractions because they are obvious. It is a constant struggle to keep sight of my destination while battling against evil distractions. Before I chose Jesus, I had no certain path to take, and navigating through the storms of life was nearly impossible. I neglected God's protection and guidance and instead turned to worldly refuge. Now however, having built my foundation in God's truth, I find my help in the Lord. His Word speaks life and truth into me, He has given me an incredible community of Christian brothers and sisters, and He offers protection and comfort all the time. Yes, I am a believer, yes, I have accepted God's gift of salvation, and yes, my greatest desire is to bring Him glory with everything I do, but no, I am not exempt from earthly struggles. I say all of that so that you may understand where I stand in life right now with my faith. Over the past several months the Lord has been teaching me to lift my gaze from my current circumstances and to look to Him. It has been an extremely hard lesson for me to learn, and I will probably always be learning it. God has taken me on a journey this past year into a world of unfamiliarity where I have had many opportunities to learn and grow, but I've also hit many bumps in the road. The trials that have accompanied this journey have not been easy. I've felt the pain of heartbreak, disappointment, and many different kinds of heart ache. I am still on this journey, and for how much longer I do not know, but I am choosing to fix my eyes on the Lord. He is changing my perspective and is giving me a spirit of gratitude and hope. Without you, encouraging, guiding, and comforting me throughout different times in my life so far, I would not be standing on a firm- faith based foundation. Thank you for allowing God to use you as His vessel to work in me. I love you, and I am forever grateful for your influence and sacrifices to point me to the Lord.

Much love,

AnnaLisa 

Below is a list of individuals that have sacrificed much of their time to pour into me. There are many others who I am also very grateful for, but these are some that stick out the most to me. 

My parents

Mrs. McCurry

Mrs. Penn

Mrs. Joiner 

Mrs. Gunter

Nikki Gentry

Mrs. Greer

Alex Alvarez 

Mary-Michael McCathren

Abby Henry

Frontline Missions

Mrs. Mercure

Gabby Rousse

Taylor Hendrix

Dina Dennis

Drew and Ashley Karschner

Katherine Gravitt 

                                                  

Upon Return

Luke 15:11-32 is a story that most of us are very familiar with. We've heard the Parable of the Prodigal Son preached along with many messages about returning to Christ. But like I've said before, The Lord grants me a new understanding of the particular passage every time I look at it.. I think it's quite remarkable  that the story of the Prodigal Son  so closely parallels to my life. In the story a  father gives his  two sons their share of inheritance. One son immediately leaves and begins to waste all that his father has given to him. The father becomes concerned for the son, who has hit rock bottom. The son is left with nothing, so he decides to go back to his father. He expects his father to be furious and disappointed. As soon as he returns home, however, he finds his  father waiting anxiously for his return. In the end of the story his father celebrates his son'a return. Jesus used this story to demonstrate the Lord's love and grace to the Pharisees.

The Parable of the Prodigal Son is an excellent example of our heavenly Father's love and grace for us. You see, in my own life, I am the prodigal child. He gave me the most gracious, undeserved gift, and I accepted it. Over time, I began to take that gift of salvation for granted. While I should have been sharing the love of The Lord with others, I was wasting that time by blending in to the rest of the world. I struggle greatly with blending in. Standing out in faith takes a tremendous amount of courage, especially while surrounded by all the wrong things. I am grateful however for the grace The Lord has shown me through these trials. I've slipped up here and there, but my roots remain in Him. He has kept me from a lot of bad places. But as I read this story of the Prodigal Son, I realized that I need to return to the Father, and continue on with HIS plan for me. I've realized that I am placed in the circumstances that I am in to show love and light to the people around me. It is so incredibly hard to show love and light when worldly temptations are pulling at you constantly. But The Lord put me where I am because he knows that I can be strong. I have to be. I want to be.

So in closing, I ask you, how does the story of the Prodigal Son relate to you and your walk?  Have you ever received the gift of salvation from the Father? Did you accept the gift , but now you've taken it for granted? Or have you been lost and empty for a long time, feeling like the Father has forgotten about you?  The Lord is anxiously waiting for you to run to him. He  hasn't forgotten about you, he isn't ashamed of you, he is ready for you to surrender yourself to him so that he can pour his love out on you.  Run from the worldly desires, and run to The Lord. He will wreck you, rebuild you,  and fill you with an indescribable love that can't be found anywhere else.

What A Love

What a love he has for me, for us, for you. I used to think that God was a "one time" kind of guy. One time to show love, one time to rescue, one time to forgive, one time to reveal, and so on. I was so completely wrong. The Lord has continued to speak and reveal himself to me since the day in January of 2013 when I accepted his gift of Salvation. It's been over a year now, and what a year it has been. The cliche thing to say is that Christianity is a hard walk filled with ups and downs. But it's not exactly cliche when you're living in it. I was obviously naive to think that walking with God was going to be a breeze. I wish I could write every single thing God has done this past year, but to catch up to present times, I would already have an entire novel-- A novel in one year, imagine how much God has left for me? This past year, the most significant attribute to my walk, I would think, is influence. God has taken and given to me many times. The people he has put in my life this year have been an absolute blessing, and even the people he has chosen to take away from me have turned into blessings. Through people alone I have been able to gain resources necessary to grow my faith. No matter the person, each one radiates Christ's love. They inspire me daily to better myself in Christ. This alone is a huge challenge. Everyone always has room to grow. My growth is dependent on my pursuit of Christ, and efforts to stand firm in Faith rather than fall into sin. Lately, God has been teaching me that not only does he love me for who I am and not my actions, but my sinful nature will never leave me. As a human, sin is a natural part of me. When I accepted Christ, however, I declared war within my soul. I thank God for making me strong, but no matter my strength, I am still human. I will never be perfect. Romans 7 tells me that whenever I want to do good, evil is right there with me. I know that I have to constantly fight to overcome this evil. My evil may be different than your evil, but the same God is in control. The greatest part of this war is that God is on my side, and with Him, there will be victory. And though I still struggle, victory is coming, and evil will be defeated. This battle will be won, and this evil will no longer have a hold on me. I see this hope, I feel his love lavished upon me, and it gives me all the more reason to continue fighting. Not only will I no longer be a prisoner to my evil, but I am a light to the world, and I will shine this light in darkness. I am beyond ready for Jesus to use me in huge ways, and I know he is using me now. I desire to be a better example for the people around me however. I've also learned that giving my problems completely to God is the most affective solution. So, with this as well as with many other things, I am trusting that God will continue to grow me and use me for his glory.

Thanksgiving This Year

Thanksgiving has a whole new meaning for me this year. 2013 has been full of many new experiences, adventures, and certainly a seemingly unfair amount of loss. This year, I'm genuinely thankful that God has blessed me with not only my immediate family, but my extended family. My family is very special because all my grandparents, cousins, aunts, and uncles, and my immediate family are all very close knit. This year as I have watched families mourn over loved ones that passed,  I have realized how blessed I am to still have all of my family with me this holiday season. I can not imagine the pain that the Mctier and Henson family has felt. I realize that one day, hopefully not soon, I will experience the same tragic loss. But today, I got to sit at the table with all of my family.  I am most thankful for family because I believe without them I would be nothing. My parents have provided shelter and food for me, an amazing school,  and most importantly an opportunity to grow in Christ. I also had the privilege and opportunity to go on a mission trip to Honduras this past March. The people that I met in Honduras truly  have nothing. My eyes were opened to the many blessings I have, that I often take for granted. Today as we sat at the table, we shared what were thankful for. For me, my list was tremendously different this year.

Getting Uncomfortable

Tonight in Student Leadership, (a small group of leaders at Fusion) we talked about what it means to truly follow Jesus. There are many factors in fully following Christ, but the one that stuck out to me was the need to step out of our comfort zone. God calls us as Christians to be fishers of men. A lot of times, however, we are ministering to people, but not the people that need it the most. That's not necessarily a bad thing, but what about the people that really need Jesus? For example,In my own life, I love on and share Jesus with people that I'm close too, and most of the time, they already have atleast a little faith in God. Meanwhile, I'm aware of people around me that most likely really need a friend, and for someone to tell them about Jesus. This poses a challenge for me. I personally am not very comfortable with talking to people that I'm not close too. And to be honest, I have a hard time talking to people that aren't like me or that don't seem to fit in to the social category of 'normal'. Tonight, God revealed this to me. One girl in the group talked about getting comfortable with being uncomfortable, and picking up our cross. You see, when Jesus carried the cross on his back, he was not comfortable. But he kept going because he loves us that much. Every day, we need to pick up our cross, and seek those who need Jesus. It's uncomfortable, yes. But it's part of truly following Jesus, and it's what he calls us to do. So, God has challenged me to get comfortable with being uncomfortable, and to reach out.

[Enter Creative Blog Post Title Here]

        As you can see, my creativity is at a new low. I almost don't even know what to write about in this post, but for some reason I still want to write. I haven't blogged in a while, partly because my time has been consumed in softball and, well mostly softball. This post is about to just be a huge mess of me ranting, so if you aren't interested in what I have to say about my life thus far, then I recommend you stop reading now. I'll just start with softball because it happens to be what my life revolves around. I was playing for Ga Academy Power but for personal reasons, in June I decided to step away. You'd think that I'd have more down time after that.. Ha jokes. Not having a travel ball team meant I needed to work extra hard. I found other travel teams to pick up with, and in between that I've had Landmark softball all summer. My goals for softball have drastically shifted since this time last year. I still pitch, but for now my primary position in travel ball is 1st base. I am now certain that I want to play softball in college, so I am currently trying to find the path that will get me there. On another note, I am very excited for this season with Landmark. Its gonna be a great one. I struggle with putting my softball career in God's hands, probably more than anything else, because I love it so much, but it also causes a lot of stress. So here goes, a new year of softball, I hope its a good one all around, but who knows. Oh wait, God does. Above all I pray that he will use me to further His kingdom no matter what I'm doing.

         Enough about softball. What else am I spending my time on? Well, a few things actually. I still play guitar, and I am hoping to lead worship someday. This summer I've kind of been working on rebuilding a few relationships. My best friend Gaby and I are back to how we used to be. I can't explain how happy that makes me. I've found friends at Church, and I really love them because they seem to help keep me in line. Aside from that, I have been elected president of the Youth Advisory Board for Family Patterns Matter, Inc.. That alone comes with many responsibilities. I've officially let go of all of the brokenness that I was involved in. Not that I have forgotten, just that I've come to terms with myself and God that I have done what I can. Now its all in God's hands. I find so much peace in that. Well, I guess thats all I have to write about for now. If you read it all, and find it pointless, just know it wasn't pointless to me. Writing helps me get my thoughts together. Just by writing this, I feel a lot better.

My Refuge

"Praise the Lord, who is my rock. He trains my hands for war and gives my fingers skill for battle. He is my loving ally and my fortress, my tower of safety, my rescuer. He is my shield, and I take refuge in him. He makes the nations submit to me." (Psalms 144:1, 2 NLT) It doesn't matter where you are in life, or which battle you're fighting, Gods always right there with you. He has been preparing you to stand firm in him since the day you accepted his gift of Salvation. The Lord is with us in every storm or battle. You may be struck down, but he will never let you be destroyed. He's always fighting in our battles, so we should fight for Him to. Fulfilling the plan he has for you may have some bumps in the road, but in the end it's going to be so rewarding.

Honduras Mission Trip 2013

I just got back from a mission trip with Landmark and Frontline Missions to Honduras. I can't even begin to tell you how blessed I feel to have been given an opportunity like this. People have asked me what my favorite part is, but I didn't have a favorite part. I can't pin point just one moment that I enjoyed the most. God gave me so many amazing experiences and opportunities while I was there. I can tell you the biggest take away I had though. The Tolepan and Honduran people have close to nothing. They are lucky if they have shoes on their feet and more than 1 pair of clothes. These people are really the least of them. “And the King will say, "‘I tell you the truth, when you did it to one of the least of these my brothers and sisters, you were doing it to me!’" (Matthew 25:40 NLT) Before I went to Honduras I struggled with the idea of loving on people who are so dirty and unclean. But as soon as I got there, The Lord lifted that burden from me. Christ's love for me put a love in me for the unclean and helpless. Seeing their precious smiles as we embraced them was priceless. It's amazing to me how the Tolepan people have nothing, but are still so grateful and happy. I realized while I was there that we don't need all the extra stuff. Why waste our time with things we don't need, when we could be using that time and money to help people who have nothing? It's what we were called to do anyways. Before the trip, I knew about the poverty and suffering, but it was a distant knowledge. It became real to me as soon as we arrived in La Ceibeta. Being surrounded by starving people while you eat dinner is so disturbing. You hurt for them, and it is hard to eat. Every night we have our left overs to them. They were so grateful for anything they got. My eyes were opened in so many ways. I really feel like God is calling me to mission work. I also got play guitar and teach songs while I was there. I loved gearing the children's voices singing together. I miss it so much already. Going on this trip greatly strengthened my trust in God. So many things could have gone wrong, but because everyone on the team really depended on God, he delivered us from everything that could have gone wrong. Honduras is home to me. I can't wait to go back. I am determined to do everything I can to help the people while I'm not there too. If you would like to donate money, we are trying to get money to buy shoes and tooth brushes for the people. Also, please keep the Tolepan people in your prayers!

From the Dark Shadows to the Light

"So there is no justice among us, and we know nothing about right living. We look for light but find only darkness. We look for bright skies but walk in gloom. We grope like the blind along a wall, feeling our way like people without eyes. Even at brightest noontime, we stumble as though it were dark. Among the living, we are like the dead." (Isaiah 59:9, 10 NLT) God knows when we are covered in sin and darkness. He sees us suffering. It even says in that verse that we will search for light and freedom but we will have yet to find it. Is that you? Are you searching for something more? Something to take your guilt and shame? Do you feel trapped in darkness and alone in the shadows? God sees you. He knows your pain, and he wants it to end. He is waiting to embrace you with outstretched loving, merciful arms that can reach however far away you may think you are. You can change who you are at the foot of the cross. Run into God's loving arms and find the light. It's worth whatever it takes.

Its the Little Things

I've started to see how the little things work out for the better even when I think its nothing. That might not make sense, but its kind of amazing once you start being able to see how God works through little things in our lives. I've learned to look for the blessing in what seems to be a negative situation. So next time something that looks bad happens to you, wait a while and see if any good comes from it.